Things That Annoy Me

I'm from Chicago. In the winter months, we're lucky to have temperatures above -2 degrees. So when I rejoice about getting a high of, say, 35 degrees, I hate it when someone comes and says something along the lines of:

It's 55 degrees in Houston.


People like this think they're funny. This is the person you meet at a party or any kind of social gathering that tries really hard to make clever, sarcastic jokes all night. In order to combat this person, it's important to note that they actually aren't funny, and he or she usually has a dangerously low self-esteem:

You're not funny. You've never been funny. You are a hollow shell of a human being, and no one likes you.

And this is something that annoys me.