Kentucky Fried Horror Movies

There has been an over-abundance of horror movies coming out lately. I've only gone to see one, "Hostel," and boy, was I disgusted.

The advertising stressed Quentin Tarantino's production credits as if it would help the popularity of the movie. Little do they know that production credit doesn't mean writing or directing credit.

No, this movie was directed by Eli Roth whose work includes "Private Parts," the biopic starring Howard Stern, and Cabin Fever. Strangely enough, the plot for Cabin Fever nearly mirrors that of Hostel: a group of stupid sexually frustrated teens embark on some meaningless adventure and end up having their joy shatter to pieces when some guy gets killed or gets an infection on his skin and croaks.

As much as I would like to include Cabin Fever in the list of Kentucky Fried Horror movies, it's release date was in 2003, which was the year for the final installment of both the Matrix and Lord of the Rings trilogies. The extreme almost Star-Wars-like success of these movies practically shadows the production of the KFHM of that year.

Even so, I decided to do a little research on the KFHM of 2003 as well as 2004, 2005, and 2006. I am only mentioning movies of wide release and commercialism.

2003

Darkness Falls
Dreamcatcher
Gothika
Final Destination 2
House of 1000 Corpses
House of the Dead
Jeepers Creepers 2
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Underworld
Wrong Turn

Total: 10

2004

Alien vs Predator
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blue Orchid
Blade Trinity
Club Dread
Dawn of the Dead
Exorcist: The Beginning
The Grudge
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Saw
Seed of Chucky
The Secret Window
Van Helsing

Total: 12

2005

The Amityville Horror
The Brothers Grimm
Constantine
The Cave
Dark Water
Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist
Doom
The Devil's Rejects
The Exorcism of Emily Rose
The Fog
Hide & Seek
House of Wax
The Ring Two
Saw Two
Wolf Creek

Total: 15

2006

The Descent
Final Destination 3
The Grudge 2
Hostel
The Hills Have Eyes
I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer
The Omen
Saw Three
See no Evil
Slither
Snakes on a Plane
Stay Alive
Underworld: Evolution
When a Stranger Calls
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Total: 15

Added 7/31/06: Also take into account that the 2006 year is not over yet. There is a movie that is ready for release called "Pulse" starring the very talented Christina Milian.



Please, now cut me a break for my statistics, for they aren't intricate. However, I'm giving a rough overview of a noticeable shift in the production of these horror movies as well as the value according to the minds of the critics and the audience.

That said, 2003 was the worst year for the KFHM. Pretty much every movie on that list received deplorable reviews. But the movies on the list were scattered through the year seemingly without the KFHM intent.

2004 was chuck full of remakes and sequels. To me, it's the formula for lazy writers with millions of dollars backing them. Some were quality including The Secret Window and Van Helsing (even though it was rife with skull-crushing special effects) while others were only luke-warm on the quality meter.

2005 and 2006 put many nails in the coffin of the horror movie genre. I've had several of my friends rush into theaters excited for at least five of these movies only to be disappointed with the poor writing and even more horrendous acting. People that you've either never heard of or have only had a glimpse at in some television special were popping up in this scary movie and then that one. My goodness, I wasn't even aware that there was a Grudge 2 or another "I Know What you did Last Summer" sequel.

I am no horror movie buff, but I certainly respect the genre enough to be silently weeping. If you were to find a good horror movie, you would have to go turn to Sundance or IFC to see the great work that went behind the original Ju-on: The Grudge movie. But only the cult horror movie fans know about these movies because they aren't widely released. Instead, the pop-American audience is stuck with trash being passed as horror movies under the gut-wrenching direction of Eli Roth who is being controlled by some big suit exec. They're stuck with watching some utterly useless hotel heiress in some movie slapped together just to grab some money under her name. However, I'm sure it was somewhat appeasing watching her experience some level of suffering.

Soon, the movie-going audience will open their eyes and the end of the KFHM will be near. But look out for other movie genres being run into the ground. I believe the romantic comedy is afoot of trashing. Keep your money in your pocket, and keep your eye for quality as clear as crystal.





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