No one has the solution to every problem, but when someone comes to you with a problem, don't you still try to help that person solve it? Don't you hate it when you give several suggestions to solve their problem and they shoot every single one of them down?
My suggestion: Give them one solution to their problem. Only one. I know you probably want to seem like a hero, but you're not one. You never will be. Life is full of misery, sadness, and disappointment. The only thing that will save you or anyone else from this is death.
Moron: I'm having an issue trying to get my boyfriend to call me more often. It's really bugging me.
Semi-moron: Just tell him if he doesn't start calling you more often then you're going to cheat on him.
Moron: That's too harsh.
Semi-moron: ...
Moron: I just really want him to want to call me more often.
Semi-moron: ...
Moron: I feel like I've tried everything.
Semi-moron: ...
Moron: Sigh, you're so quiet.
Semi-moron: ...
Moron: ...
Semi-moron: So, I'm thinking about working for a phone sex hotline.
...And there you have it. Ignore their cues for you to engage them in a pointless conversation about their insignificant problems that will lead nowhere. About 99 percent of "advice requests" aren't actually requests for advice at all. They just want you to wallow in their stupidity along with them. Resist.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Music Monday
Well, it's Friday, so I can do what I want.
I love this song:
Please enjoy.
***You may recognize this from the new America's Best Dance Crew promo, and I'm ashamed of that.
I love this song:
Please enjoy.
***You may recognize this from the new America's Best Dance Crew promo, and I'm ashamed of that.
Things That Annoy Me
I'm from Chicago. In the winter months, we're lucky to have temperatures above -2 degrees. So when I rejoice about getting a high of, say, 35 degrees, I hate it when someone comes and says something along the lines of:
It's 55 degrees in Houston.
People like this think they're funny. This is the person you meet at a party or any kind of social gathering that tries really hard to make clever, sarcastic jokes all night. In order to combat this person, it's important to note that they actually aren't funny, and he or she usually has a dangerously low self-esteem:
You're not funny. You've never been funny. You are a hollow shell of a human being, and no one likes you.
And this is something that annoys me.
It's 55 degrees in Houston.
People like this think they're funny. This is the person you meet at a party or any kind of social gathering that tries really hard to make clever, sarcastic jokes all night. In order to combat this person, it's important to note that they actually aren't funny, and he or she usually has a dangerously low self-esteem:
You're not funny. You've never been funny. You are a hollow shell of a human being, and no one likes you.
And this is something that annoys me.
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Srsly.
My New Year's Resolution was to not take things so seriously, which is ironic because I probably consider myself the least mature out of all of my friends.
However, I'm not naive. I'm not some wide-eyed little girl who thinks her wildest dreams must and WILL come true. I know there is no knight in shining armor. I know there's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I know life is full of disappointments and failures.
I think this lack of maturity has more to do with what I've been shielded from since I was a child. My mom didn't want me to play outside too late, she didn't want me hanging around "that kid who always has the runny nose and the kool-aid stains on his shirt," and more than anything, she just did not want me to get hurt.
But, have you ever played with fire? I don't mean that metaphorically, I mean literally. Sometimes I would find a book of matches in my house (my mom used to smoke before I was born) and light one. I would hold it between my fingers, and watch the flame slowly travel down the stick, and I sat with a bit of fear waiting for the right moment to blow it out before it burned me. Sometimes I would get bold and roll up a sheet of paper and light it, watching the flame increase more and more with that same fear of getting burned or dropping it into the wrong substance and setting our house ablaze. But, I would always put the fire out right on time.
My luck didn't last, though. Once, I lit some paper on fire and it dropped on my carpet in my bedroom. The fire got larger and larger and I couldn't put it out. I tried blowing it out, but it still increased. I tried stomping it with my shoe, but nothing happened. Finally, I ran back and forth with little Dixie cups full of water steadily decreasing the blaze with every pour. It took about 4 trips and all that was left was a slowly rising cloud of smoke and a large charred spot of blackness right next to my bed. I tried covering it for weeks, but my mom eventually found out. I got the punishment of a lifetime (no television for a month!!!).
I learned a lesson in playing with fire. Now, it does carry over metaphorically. I kept tempting the flames, but I would always stop the fire right before it burned me. This is how I've come to approach being my idea of an adult.
Another thing, my dad was coming up the stairs to my room. My dad never punished me, ever, and I wanted to keep it that way. I'd already faced my mom's wrath, so I didn't want to face a second helping. I begged my mom to stop him from coming up; I started to tear up...I think I even got on my knees. She relented, and stopped him from coming upstairs (I forgot how she did it).
Again, I weaseled myself out of a bad situation for myself, but because of that, I thought I was invincible. I thought I could approach situations that I knew may lead to awful consequences, but I would only tease, and tempt whatever it was until I saw these consequences becoming more and more eminent, and then I would blow out the flame. I thought I could live like this forever in several aspects of my life, and while I have yet to face these horrible consequences for my actions, I do need to stop playing with fire.
I never truly get anything out of it. There's a temporary high in being in a situation with potential danger knowing you probably won't have to face it. But, I go about looking for things I shouldn't be looking for, and I go about these things the wrong way.
What I really wanted during these idiotic "pyro sessions" was to be stimulated. I could have picked up a book, or watched a television show, or wrote in my journal instead of being a complete moron. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? So is my approach to securing happiness for myself. It's the wrong kind of happiness too.
So, I want to revise my New Year's Resolution. I need to GROW UP. I need to realize that I'm not in my room lighting matches; I'm playing with people's lives and my own life now. I'm an adult, so I have more freedom than I did when my mom had me safe and secure in my bedroom. I have more power now than I did when I was a little kid.
I've made hundreds, possibly thousands of mistakes from 2009 quite literally up until 3 hours ago that deal specifically with this "playing with fire" theme. There's no need to go into details about these mistakes (thousands!), but I hope you can relate somehow.
Don't worry. I didn't do anything that calls for involvement from law enforcement or a priest.
**Edit**
Oh yeah, I'm also seriously going to avoid wearing wigs. My hair is longer and healthier than its ever been in my entire life. The heck.
However, I'm not naive. I'm not some wide-eyed little girl who thinks her wildest dreams must and WILL come true. I know there is no knight in shining armor. I know there's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I know life is full of disappointments and failures.
I think this lack of maturity has more to do with what I've been shielded from since I was a child. My mom didn't want me to play outside too late, she didn't want me hanging around "that kid who always has the runny nose and the kool-aid stains on his shirt," and more than anything, she just did not want me to get hurt.
But, have you ever played with fire? I don't mean that metaphorically, I mean literally. Sometimes I would find a book of matches in my house (my mom used to smoke before I was born) and light one. I would hold it between my fingers, and watch the flame slowly travel down the stick, and I sat with a bit of fear waiting for the right moment to blow it out before it burned me. Sometimes I would get bold and roll up a sheet of paper and light it, watching the flame increase more and more with that same fear of getting burned or dropping it into the wrong substance and setting our house ablaze. But, I would always put the fire out right on time.
My luck didn't last, though. Once, I lit some paper on fire and it dropped on my carpet in my bedroom. The fire got larger and larger and I couldn't put it out. I tried blowing it out, but it still increased. I tried stomping it with my shoe, but nothing happened. Finally, I ran back and forth with little Dixie cups full of water steadily decreasing the blaze with every pour. It took about 4 trips and all that was left was a slowly rising cloud of smoke and a large charred spot of blackness right next to my bed. I tried covering it for weeks, but my mom eventually found out. I got the punishment of a lifetime (no television for a month!!!).
I learned a lesson in playing with fire. Now, it does carry over metaphorically. I kept tempting the flames, but I would always stop the fire right before it burned me. This is how I've come to approach being my idea of an adult.
Another thing, my dad was coming up the stairs to my room. My dad never punished me, ever, and I wanted to keep it that way. I'd already faced my mom's wrath, so I didn't want to face a second helping. I begged my mom to stop him from coming up; I started to tear up...I think I even got on my knees. She relented, and stopped him from coming upstairs (I forgot how she did it).
Again, I weaseled myself out of a bad situation for myself, but because of that, I thought I was invincible. I thought I could approach situations that I knew may lead to awful consequences, but I would only tease, and tempt whatever it was until I saw these consequences becoming more and more eminent, and then I would blow out the flame. I thought I could live like this forever in several aspects of my life, and while I have yet to face these horrible consequences for my actions, I do need to stop playing with fire.
I never truly get anything out of it. There's a temporary high in being in a situation with potential danger knowing you probably won't have to face it. But, I go about looking for things I shouldn't be looking for, and I go about these things the wrong way.
What I really wanted during these idiotic "pyro sessions" was to be stimulated. I could have picked up a book, or watched a television show, or wrote in my journal instead of being a complete moron. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? So is my approach to securing happiness for myself. It's the wrong kind of happiness too.
So, I want to revise my New Year's Resolution. I need to GROW UP. I need to realize that I'm not in my room lighting matches; I'm playing with people's lives and my own life now. I'm an adult, so I have more freedom than I did when my mom had me safe and secure in my bedroom. I have more power now than I did when I was a little kid.
I've made hundreds, possibly thousands of mistakes from 2009 quite literally up until 3 hours ago that deal specifically with this "playing with fire" theme. There's no need to go into details about these mistakes (thousands!), but I hope you can relate somehow.
Don't worry. I didn't do anything that calls for involvement from law enforcement or a priest.
**Edit**
Oh yeah, I'm also seriously going to avoid wearing wigs. My hair is longer and healthier than its ever been in my entire life. The heck.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
This Happened
On my way to work, I encountered a man who was standing in the middle of the yard outside of the Alumni Memorial Union at Marquette University.
Man: That's really nice.
Me: ....
Me: Thank you?
Man: What do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a student.
Man: You're pretty.
Me: Thank you.
Man: The lipstick.
Me: Th...thanks.
Man: Are you a man?
Me: (nervous laughter)
Me: I'm actually not offended by that, but no, I am not a man.
Man: Okay.
Man: Do you have money to take me out to eat?
Me: I think I already mentioned that I'm a college student, therefore, I am broke.
Man: Oh.
Me: I'm about the cross the street.
Man: Oh, ok.
Man: That's really nice.
Me: ....
Me: Thank you?
Man: What do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a student.
Man: You're pretty.
Me: Thank you.
Man: The lipstick.
Me: Th...thanks.
Man: Are you a man?
Me: (nervous laughter)
Me: I'm actually not offended by that, but no, I am not a man.
Man: Okay.
Man: Do you have money to take me out to eat?
Me: I think I already mentioned that I'm a college student, therefore, I am broke.
Man: Oh.
Me: I'm about the cross the street.
Man: Oh, ok.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Why Is It That
When someone says "no offense," they usually follow that with an offensive statement?
No offense, but I'd like to give it to your mother very rough.
No offense, but I'd like to give it to your mother very rough.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Until Then...
I have two posts promising an exhaustive post on the topics I posted in those posts.
Anyway, I've concluded some things over the Halloween weekend:
1. Halloween is stupid.
2. Halloween is expensive.
3. Halloween is like any other excuse to party only it is socially acceptable for one to wear racially/religiously/sexually offensive costumes and children are about 500 times more likely to be assaulted.
4. The celebration of Halloween is all for material gain. Explained:
"Everyone else is celebrating Halloween tonight at "Insert Club Name Here." So, that should give you an excuse to pay a 20-dollar cover."
"I'm a woman wearing a costume that is both sexually-suggestive and weirdly infantile. If you buy me a drink, you have a better shot at sleeping with me."
"Trick or treat."
With that said, I can't wait until Thanksgiving.
Anyway, I've concluded some things over the Halloween weekend:
1. Halloween is stupid.
2. Halloween is expensive.
3. Halloween is like any other excuse to party only it is socially acceptable for one to wear racially/religiously/sexually offensive costumes and children are about 500 times more likely to be assaulted.
4. The celebration of Halloween is all for material gain. Explained:
"Everyone else is celebrating Halloween tonight at "Insert Club Name Here." So, that should give you an excuse to pay a 20-dollar cover."
"I'm a woman wearing a costume that is both sexually-suggestive and weirdly infantile. If you buy me a drink, you have a better shot at sleeping with me."
"Trick or treat."
With that said, I can't wait until Thanksgiving.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Long Time
It's been a long time...
...shouldn't have left you...
Hmm...how do I make this blog more interesting?
Oh yeah, SEX SELLS.
Since It's 5am, I'm only making this post the starting post to a more exhaustive post on virginity and why it gets no respect post post post.
Sound interesting enough?
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